iPhone, Therefore I Slam

Well, the big day is finally here. We picked up our iPhone today, launching us reluctantly out of the "Cordless Age" into the "2-Year Contract for Services We Don't Need" Age. The clerk at the store was quite pleasant and competent which didn't negate the fact that the privacy invasion of making a purchase has reached a new high. We had to provide photo id so that they could run a credit check- nevermind that they had our VISA chargecard. What happened to the required deposit? We bought the phone, but then needed to pay an additional "activation charge". To me, this is like buying a car, and then having to pay an additional fee to allow us to start it up. We chose the minimal plan- just minimal services and minutes, not a very minimal monthly charge at about $75 or so (but who really knows due to arbitrary taxes and fees that can be raised at any time). We chose not to pay extra for texting because most people we know don't text, but if someone does text us, we pay 20 cents for every message, incoming or outgoing and we can't refuse them. "Oh", she reassured us, "When AT&T texts for promotions and such, there is no fee". "Can I turn those off?" I queried. "No". Even though I paid. I have no control over who can contact me. The voicemail and data are "free" which really means that they are tacked onto the price of the "package"....$35 more than just phone service. Am I bitter? No- it's a choice that we made and we're willing to pay for the safety and convenience of being able to email and use internet anywhere that there is phone service, but the marketing of this product is so deceptive and strategized that I feel manipulated.

Shake it off and have fun you say. OK- is that the Permanent Fun, as one of my students once asked?

In my years of teaching, irony is a difficult concept for students to understand. As I dropped off my husband this morning at work, I was struck by an amazing irony and then, instead of concentrating on my driving, thought of a few more examples.

So, isn't it ironic that UAF, the leading university for arctic engineering and cold climate construction is spending lots of time and money this week repairing the sinkholes and the bottomless abyss that is the WRRB (West Ridge Research Building) parking lot? There are melting ice lenses under the blacktop.

Isn't ironic that Ticketmaster charges a "convenience fee" for purchasing tickets?

Isn't ironic that Alaska's gas and oil prices are almost the highest in the nation while the pipeline is within striking distance of our homes?

Isn't it ironic that schools are spending about 20% of their time testing and assessing kids and identifying what they need to learn instead of actually teaching?

Isn't it ironic that the special education is for students who are not working at their grade level but can cause a school to be designated as "Not meeting AYP" because some students (maybe special ed students) are not working at their grade level?

I could continue, but that's enough rant for now.

I went to the Tanana Valley Fair last night to work at the KUAC booth as a volunteer. I got to work the "Wheel of Fun" which allowed people to spin for fabulous prizes, or at least magnets, spray hand sanitizer, chip clips and more. Everyone left our booth happy except the kid who immediately let her balloon go up to the ceiling and I just shrugged as she refused to allow it to be tied down. A particularly funny guy (about 17 years old) wanted enough helium balloons to make him rise in the air, but I assured him that his friends would all donate their balloons if he would promise to ascend to dangerous heights. I told him jumping into the air would help launch him, but he needed to go outside or he'd stick to the ceiling in the balloon morgue.

Besides our own wonderful booth, I went to the quilt show and checked out a few other sites. The quilt show had some amazing quilts- it inspired me to get going this year. There was a booth promoting "clean elections" which meant that the state would fund campaigns for any candidates willing to comply with a few regulations. No- the ones who don't want to comply are the ones who need to be forced to run clean campaigns. A few misguided individuals spent $25 to be launched into the air (strapped in, mind you) in a giant bungee cord sling shot. That was a good deal. The booths in the Borealis Pavilion were restricted to politically or religiously offensive non-profits or product demos interspersed with informational organizations. The PFLAG (parents and friends of lesbians and gays) and the Cooperative Extension were near the Christian private schools and the pots and pans salesmen, just to give you an example. Grab a bag and fill up with freebies and enter some contests to win a carpet cleaning or gift certificate and your Fair experience can continue long into the year as the promoters call you to make demo appointments.

The rain was relentless but the weather service had graphs that reassured me that it didn't rain entirely for any of the fairs historically. Unfortunately, I am a student of probability and I know that there is no certainty in weather. I did learn that a 50% chance of rain means either that it will rain 100% of the time over 50% of the area or it will rain 50% of the time over 100% of the area. That's good to know.

Food at the Fair is exceptional if you look around. Lots of the booths serve either 1) fried food or 2) very sweet food or 3) very expensive food. Many are all 3. Like Elephant Ears or Funnel Cakes. The lines were very long there.

I could get used to this retirement. Blog, sleep, eat, think, hike, read, talk on the phone...what else is there?